the things which we shall never speak
by I'vebeenLOKI'Dyetagain
Summary: Post-Avengers, AU one-shot where Thor visits Loki in his prison cell in Asgard (not for the first time) and neither of them breathe a word. Bromance.


**Yes, another chaotic one-shot from me. They just kind of... happen... **

**For some inexplicable reason writing stories with 'I' drives me crazy - and yet, this is Loki's POV first-person. It was just the only way what I wanted to say would work, with the rhythm and everything...**

**Anyways, I hope you enjoy!**

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In this furnished box of a prison cell I can't see the sky, but I imagine it's shivering with starlight, meteors beading up like sweat and dripping in torrents down its dark velvet flank of night.

But then again, I can tell from your face that it's storming outside, and that you wish that the rain would stop.

Oh, you're wrong to think that I'm any sort of remedy; my heart is gloaming to your midday of unadulterated blue skies and sunbeams, and my fabricated smiles would only thicken the clouds and make for you the world darker, and my words striking through the kinks in your armor would only serve to make it rain from your eyes as well. And maybe then you're heart will match the skies and you'll feel naught the cold as you try and fail to shine with your aura of gold _perfection. _

Yet even a hurricane would be a welcome sight compared to these white and brightly lit walls, one that perhaps in a century I'll feed you lie after honeyed lie in order to see. And I know you'll inhale them like krumkakes, so starving are you for my repentance and the chance to have me once more walking in your shadow.

But for now here we are—I'm locked up and you are free, standing there outside the glass with your thewed arms crossed before your armored chest, frowning like this situation is troubling. Though I can't fathom why to you it would be.

What have you got to lose? You long ago lost me.

I am at your mercy, so it would seem—and if you'd like you can shower me with bullets and watch how they ricochet, or count the strikes it takes for your hammer to shatter my ribs, to see if this monster still possesses a heart.

I can see myself reflected in your eyes, haggard and wild and _insane—_and I see that you're still at a loss for why I ended up this way. See the way you twitch at my manic grin.

Because we both know who's more comfortable with this situation.

But you just stand there, silent, between us words the likes of which we'll never speak.

_(I will always love you)_

Words that lie tucked away, lost and mangled with the iron blades of rivalry; those sentiments that taste like the galaxy.

_(You'll always be my enemy) (But I will always love you)_

They lurk dark and empty. They keep crawling, mewling and crying, always on our tongues, caustic and bittersweet. They cling heavy to our teeth, restless. Yet they never leave.

_(Saying I will always love you) (No matter what I do)_

Our conviction builds and they break it down, keep the walls crumbling; when there's a weapon in our hands, they keep our fingers fumbling.

Your blue eyes meet mine, and we see the worlds hiding in the shadows behind, like the final spark of life that flees only reluctantly from dead bodies.

_(You know I'll always love you)_

And you know I'm dark through and through—the garments I wear, the smiles I bleed, the things I think and feel and do—

I could never be anything like you.

But if that is what Fate would decree, well no way in Hel am I listening to these tacit understandings.

And I'll deny that we're brothers, and we'll fight till we fall, again and again and again... we're programmed to make the world end.

There's nothing left to say.

So stay silent _(and stay close)._ You've got nothing left to ask of me, and I've got nothing left to prove to you.

And if you'd like you can sit with your back against the glass, and I'll do the same on the other side, and we can listen to the hum of the magic barrier and pretend we can feel each other breathe.

But it won't change anything.

You know that in the end I do what I want.

_(I don't want you gone)_

And I'll never tell you that I'm sorry _(I'm so sorry). _I'll never tell you honestly _(it's not you, it's me). _

I'll never say that I never meant to hurt you _(because yes, to hurt you was my intention)_.

But everything just sort of fell through.

_(All I wanted was your attention.)_

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**Thank you for reading! And I'd love to hear your thoughts :3  
**


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